With flicks such as Nine and Mamma Mia! musicals have become all the rage once again. And let’s face it, we all like to think that somewhere deep down inside of us, there’s a Beyoncé or a Mariah Carey (you can pick whoever takes your fancy) just waiting to be unleashed. But both you and I know that that just ain’t the case… here are 5 people who have been allowed to sing on film who should NEVER do so again.
This proves that technology can't always create miracles!
#5: Alyson Hannigan
Television episode where she let her vocal cords loose: Buffy’s musical episode, Once More With Feeling.
This is a gloomy looking lot!
Why she should be banned from singing: Oh dear, I love Hannigan and Willow (remember, I’m the obsessed Buffy geek) but this chick just can’t sing. Despite hardly singing at all in the ep (well, at least she can realise she sucks), her few lines are woeful. Stick to the group sing-along Willow! Or maybe, just get Joss Whedon (the creator of the show) to only write stand-alone eps where silence reigns supreme (like Hush).
Scare-factor: 7/10 – I like her too much to make it any worse for her.
That's one "bling bling" dress!
#4: Nicole Kidman
Movie where she let her vocal cords loose: Moulin Rouge
She's one pale woman!
Why she should be banned from singing: Okay, so this is a bit of a cheap shot because it’s not that her voice is bad, I just can’t deal with this Ice Queen – she does something to my bones!
Scare-factor: 7.5/10 – Is it just me or doesn’t her face move properly anymore?
Clap to drown out the noise...
#3: Gwyneth Paltrow
Movie where she let her vocal cords loose: Duets
Why she should be banned from singing: Well, it’s all very whiney isn’t it? At least it was only a small portion of the movie but still, sheesh, it was quite taxing on my sanity at one point there.
Scare-factor: 8/10 – If I want to hear whining, I’ll position myself strategically next to a baby (ooooo, that was harsh now!).
The offending scene...
#2: Cameron Diaz
Movie where she let her vocal cords loose: My Best Friend’s Wedding
Yes, it is safer to keep your hand over your mouth, isn't it?
Why she should be banned from singing: Did you hear it? Points to her for the fact that it was definitely intended to make people laugh but… wow! Might be a case of Diaz achieving what she hoped to a little too well if you ask me.
Scare-factor: 9/10 – Even if it was designed to amuse, it was baaaaaaaaaad!
He can't be serious...
#1: Pierce Brosnan
Movie where she let her vocal cords loose: Mamma Mia!
Oh but he really is serious!
Why he should be banned from singing: Oh dear… poor Mr. Brosnan sounds like an animal in terrible pain. In fact, I can’t even describe the sound that comes out of his mouth because I’ve never heard anything quite like it! Kudos to him for putting himself out there though… takes a brave man if you ask me.
Now, that wasn’t too harsh, was it? How could I really get my point across without being mean? Let me know what you think by posting a comment below. Oh, and don’t forget to join me Wednesday for you know what (new releases, new releases, new releases).
