DVD Movie Reviews

So, here’s the thing: Dan and Alex are guys and as the token gal in this blogging trio, I feel as though I’m letting the team down. Why? Well, as far as girls go, I’m not exactly the girliest gal going ‘round.

I know girls who have more shoes in their wardrobe right now than I’ve had in my entire life. Tragic. I know girls that could tell you all the ins and outs of plucking, tweezing, powdering, puffing, buffing… yep, now I’m just making things up. That just ain’t me though.

But guess what? I’m trying to get more in touch with my feminine side so I’m kick-starting my weekly rant by blogging on shoes. Shoes on-screen to be more precise.

Dorothy’s ruby red slippers – The Wizard of Oz

Razzle, dazzle!

Did you know that in L. Frank Baum’s original story, Dorothy (Judy Garland) wore silver slippers, not ruby red ones as we all saw in the 1939 film? I wouldn’t mind a pair of flashing neon sign red ruby slippers such as Dorothy’s – imagine hitting a club with those sparkling on your feet. Now boys, how could you resist?

The Devil Wears Prada

Which one to choose? Little Miss Picky!

This movie is pretty much any fashionista’s delight but the shoes – well, they’re just out of this realm. I’ve read articles estimating that 40% of the shoes on Meryl Steep’s feet are Prada. Now, who’d argue with that? What I want to know is: does Streep get to keep the shoes when she’s done with filming? Then again, somehow, I think that Streep can afford to buy her very own Prada shoes. I really do need to stop thinking like myself.

The shoe phone – Get Smart

Helloooo

I know I can’t live without my iPhone. In fact, I ended up at a place on Saturday where I had to turn it off and the world just wasn’t right. It was a freaky place to be. But what if your phone could be on your shoes. No pockets needed! The perfect world for any female! Just whip out your glam heels and you’re good to talk.

Sex and the City

Nice shoes!

It’s hard to think about Sex and the City without thinking about shoes and more specifically, Carrie’s (Sarah Jessica Parker) fave shoes: Jimmy Choos. But Carrie’s obsession doesn’t end there – she’s also seen in Manolo Blahniks and… should I stop now ladies? I don’t want to feed your habit. But here is something rather funny, Carrie labels her own shoe obsession a “substance abuse problem” in the opening season. Nice one Caz!

Pretty Woman

Boot scootin' boots!

I’d like to think of Vivian’s (Julia Roberts) work boots as character defining. Sure, she ditches them later on in the movie when she’s supposed to be all classy but it’s not her heels I remember. It’s the black boots. In fact, it’s really the entire outfit. Take a look for yourself.

Puss in Boots

Cute cat!

I’ll be ruthlessly honest: I hate cats. But a cat in boots… now that’s a different class of cat. Not to mention the hat, the sword and the accent. This is one puss I know I could deal with.

Speaking of things to deal with, I have the rest of my Monday to get through. Post a comment – love what I’ve written, hate what I’ve written but just have an opinion. No one likes a passive audience.

By Dan

Now, I know that the Internet likes to complain about things – hell, it’s pretty much the power source for the entire thing, but I’d like to suggest that movies are actually pretty good right now. The underrated for so long Ryan Gosling is getting some good roles (and the recognition he deserves); most of the recent comic book films have been good (in some cases excellent), Meryl Streep continues to show why she’s the best actress alive, and Michael Bay seems happy to destroy only one of my treasured childhood memories.

But things aren’t perfect. Something’s missing. Well, actually, 5 things. You may have already gathered that from the headline above.

Let’s go to the list!

Westerns

The disembodied head of Clint Eastwood compels you to make more Westerns.

For some reason, Westerns fell out of favour in Hollywood a few decades ago, and have never really regained their popularity. Actually, I should clarify that – they’ve never regained their popularity with studio executives; the audiences still love ‘em. What’s even stranger about it, is that the few Westerns that have been made in the last 20 or so year have mostly been great – Unforgiven, True Grit, The Assassination of Jesse James By Oh My Lord This Is Such A Long Movie Title. It’s time for Hollywood to get back on the horse, and let Clint Eastwood make one last great western (in front or behind the camera, I don’t care). Yee-haa!

Spaceships

The one thing that all spaceships need - a cool paint job!

Back when I was a kid, it seemed that every second movie had spaceships flying about the screen. And not just spaceships, but iconic spaceships – the Millennium Falcon, the USS Enterprise, the X-Wing, the D7-class battlecruiser. But now, aside from the late, lamented Serenity (Firefly - come back!), where are all the cool spaceships? (OK, TV’s Battlestar Galactica has a few.) The time is right to develop a new space-set franchise, which MUST include cool spaceships with even cooler names. Like the Planet-Eater, or the Star-Sword, or Gladys, the Most Polite Spaceship in the Galaxy.

Buddy Cop Movies

Er... no.

Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte. Eddie Murphy and Judge Reinhold. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell. There are some great buddy cop duos right there, but how long has it been since the last great buddy cop movie? (I’m not including the totally awesome Hot Fuzz, as it was a parody of the genre.) Why can’t we see The Rock and Ryan Reynolds team up to kick some bad-guy arse? Yeah, there have been some comedy movies that enter into the genre (The Other Guys, we’re looking at you), but I want a big-budget, non-stop action fest with fist-fights, gun-fights, chase scenes and more explosions than a badly secured Chinese fireworks factory. Make it happen, movie men.

Big Soundtracks

We would never forget about you, Simple Minds.

Maybe it’s because of the recent death of Whitney Houston, but I’ve been wondering where the big movie soundtrack songs have gone. You know the ones – I Will Always Love You, Take My Breath Away, My Heart Will Go On, Up Where We Belong. Those soaring ballads that make a female eye weep, and programmers for certain radio stations wet their pants with glee. You can’t tell me that Beyonce, Taylor Swift or an off the interchange bench Celine Dion couldn’t belt out an emotion stirring hit for an upcoming movie or two. Yes, they’re the musical equivalent to a Mills & Boon novel, but there’s still a place for them.

Traditional Animation

This might sum up everything that's good about traditional animation.

I love Pixar. Seriously, I have all of their movies (on Blu-ray, no less), and even their lesser movies (Cars and (especially) Cars 2) still entertain me (when you have a young Cars-obsessed son, you’d wanna hope they entertain you). (So many parentheses!) But the rise of CGI animation has sadly seen the demise of traditional 2D animation. It’s just not hip these days. While TV still knocks out some traditional animation, most of it isn’t even close to the quality of those classic Disney movies, or the anarchic Warner Bros. cartoons. I’d love to see a studio take a risk, and give us all a taste of the old school once again.

Special TV Bonus Entry - Decent Sketch Comedy

The reason why I was happy to spend so many Saturday nights in during my early twenties.

In the ‘80s and ‘90s, Australia actually had some decent sketch comedy shows – Fast Forward, The Comedy Company and (best of all) The Late Show. But these days, er, not so much. In fact, there’s not a lot happening internationally either (save for the evergreen – and usually patchy – Saturday Night Live). So where will the next generation of TV comedians come from? The occasional guest spot on The Project or Talkin’ ‘Bout Your Generation? YouTube? Actually, yeah, it’ll probably be YouTube. But still, we need a new TV sketch comedy show, if only to get new faces out there (and new writing talent behind the scenes too). Otherwise in 20 years time all we’ll have is an infinitely annoying and smug Chris Lilley.

By Alex.

You know what? This one has been a long time coming. After numerous blog posts chronicling so called ‘handsome’ young men (if you don’t remember, let me refresh you: 8 of the Hottest Brooding males onscreen, George Clooney, you sexy beast!, Gerard Butler, where did he come from?, Ethan Hawke’s Back, so on and so forth), I’ve decided to claim one back for the boys. I’ve compiled a list of beautiful actresses who, in my opinion, don’t get enough attention for their…erm talents.

Like most actors and actresses coming up in big bad ol’ Hollywood, you have to do a few low budget flicks before you land that breakthrough role. Most of which are always poor horrors/slashers or films for teenage boys full of gratuitous nudity – Yay!

So for these gals, I’ll be listing what they’re best known for and the stinkers that got them there…or almost there for some.

Oh and I’ve included two pictures of each because you always need two different shots to make up your mind. Plus, it gave me an excuse to look up more pictures of gorgeous gals.

Jamie Alexander

I’m a sucker for dark haired beauties with light eyes, as you’ll see from a lot of the entries in this list. Jamie is coming up in the world with her role as Sif in Thor, she’s also got a few TV spots including Nurse Jackie, Bones, CSI: Miami and Covert Affairs. But here's my advice: check her out in the web series Ultradome (two geeks enter, one geek leaves) to see her full range of acting – it’s hilarious. Plus, in the second webisode she wears ‘painted on’ Han Solo pants. Ohhhhhhh yeaaaaaaah.

Best known for: Thor

Stinker: Rest Stop

Amber Heard

Ok, by now I reckon this girl doesn’t need an intro. If you haven’t discovered Amber Heard, you haven’t been watching any movies lately have you? Tsk, tsk. She’s everywhere: Drive Angry, The Rum Diary, Zombieland, Pineapple Express, Alpha Dog and Californication to name a quick few. She’s my pick for flavour of the month in the very near future; I’ll even go as far as to say she’ll topple, what’s-her-face, Scarlett Johansson from her throne (not that she deserves it anyway).

Best known for: Drive Angry, The Rum Diary

Stinker: Drop Dead Sexy

Rachel McAdams

Well, Rachel McAdams definitely does not need an intro. She’s almost been a star right from the word get-go. And how could she not be? Blonde, brunette, red head, curls, short, it all looks good on this girl. Not to mention, the girl can act, I believe everything she says in all her movies. Seriously. In fact, she doesn’t belong here – she’s totally rated; but I just wanted to look up photos of her.

Best known for: The Notebook, Sherlock Holmes, Midnight in Paris, The Wedding Crashers, the list goes on and on.

Stinker: Umm this one’s difficult…I guess, My Name is Tanino?

Kate Beckinsale

Ah man, in the same realm as Rachel McAdams (I always get them mixed up too), Beckinsale has always been a star, plus she’s uber smart and apparently down to Earth too. And that damn English accent is killer. That’s it, Kate you don’t belong here either, you’re totally rated, you and McAdams get out of here.

Best known for: Underworld, Contraband, Van Helsing, The Aviator, Pearl Harbour.

Stinker: Personally, I think a lot of her movies are stinkers but I just enjoy watching her in them anyway. If I had to pick one – Shooting Fish. You only get one Kate – you’re too good for that.

January Jones

With a name like January Jones, she sounds like a character out of one of her movies. Jones made the list because I discovered her in Mad Men and haven’t been able to look away. She’s the stereotypical American girl; she’d be just at home on the ranch in cowboy boots and cut-off denims just as she would at a high roller cocktail party in an LBD – that’s Little Black Dress. As you can see in the photo.

Best known for: Unknown, X-Men: First Class, Mad Men

Stinker: Taboo

Carly Pope

Well, Pope seems to get a lot of minor roles in a lot of films, but not enough major roles just yet in my opinion. A bit of an outside chance on this list, could have easily gone either way, but she keeps popping up in everything and is bound to get some recognition soon…I hope. And for the record – I kinda like the teethy grin.

Best known for: Probably best known as that girl in that movie. You might know her from Californication, 24, Textuality, and Orange County.

Stinker: Snow Day

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Our first and only entry with a three-pronged name. This girl is sultry and can play the sexy weirdo – check her out in Scott Pilgrim. I reckon it must be the eyes here. Like a baby seal. How could you not love baby seals? That’s right; you can’t not love ‘em. Winstead’s got a few big production movies coming up including Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Seriously though, I don’t care what she’s in as long as she’s in it.

Best known for: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Thing, Die Hard 4.0, Death Proof

Stinker: bahahaha was on TV series Passions, remember that?

Odette Annable

Wow. I only just found out about this little gem. I haven’t seen most of the stuff she’s been in but that’s going to be corrected right now. Shame on me.

Best known for: Cloverfield, Transformers, House

Stinker: was in Kindergarten Cop, it’s not really a stinker but I thought it funny to mention. She played Rosa for you score keepers out there.

Amy Nuttall

The dark horse on the list, Nuttall is relatively new to the international scene with her role in Downtown Abbey grabbing much of her notoriety. But I had to include a gorgeous natural red head on the list, as far as I’m concerned red heads don’t get nearly enough attention they deserve. Let’s hope Nuttall makes the leap from British TV to Hollywood blockbusters – the world needs to know about red heads!

Best known for: Downtown Abbey, Emmerdale Farm, Hotel Babylon

Stinker: With such a short filmography, Nuttall actually hasn’t got many stinkers to choose from.

So does my list get your approval? Don't agree with my choices? Got a few beautiful actresses you think need a bit more exposure? Leave a comment and I'll let you know whether or not your choice makes my cut. It's my list, I get to do that.

-Alex

First up, it may not be a great way to start the week but it's hard to write a blog about celebrities without touching on Whitney Houston's passing. Without getting too cheesy, we all knew she had her struggles but given that we like to talk all things movies here, it's pretty hard not to remember Houston at the pinnacle of her career in The Bodyguard. I know I have a couple of her songs on my iPod (note: I only play them when I need to wallow) and she was a phenomenal talent that will be missed...

Now, let's move on to happier things ... while I’d like to be the bigger person and say that last night’s BAFTAs had me talking about who was winning what, it just didn’t. Instead, I was left thinking about how very thin most of the celebs gracing the red carpet looked.

From there, my mind spiralled – I imagine this is what it felt like when Alice fell into the rabbit hole and found herself in Wonderland.

Given Houston's passing, talking about celebrities is kinda a must so that said, I'll turn my attention to the world’s fastest shrinking celebs?

Renee Zellweger

Well, at least she's happy with herself

Sometimes she’s big (in Bridget Jones) and sometimes she’s small (as herself) but just imagine how grumpy this yo-yo dieter would be. I speak from my own experience with others when I say that people who shun carbs are grumps. No carbs, no sunshine.

Seth Rogen

The hair weighs too

I have a theory about how Rogen was so traumatised that he couldn’t bare to eat for months on end. Working alongside Katherine Heigl and her acid tongue in Knocked Up is a tough gig and it helped Rogen to shed the pounds. Maybe Heigl should do an ad for Weight Watchers – she just needs to say what comes naturally to her.

Jennifer Hudson

Lookin' good

Guess who knocked back a role in Precious? The same role that won Gabourey Sidibe an Oscar? While Hudson says it’s not weight related, I beg to differ. But you know what? Hudson is looking fab and says she’s feeling amazing so good for her. Awww, warm, fuzzy feelings.

Jonah Hill

Stare off to the side... very sexy!

Back in his Superbad days, I feared for Jonah. I feared that one day, he would pop. Yes people, it sounds mean but he had no neck! Now, he’s slimmed down quite a bit and he’s looking the goods. And can I say, he ain’t bad lookin’ either.

Claudia Schiffer

She's all teeth!

Imagine a lollypop… imagine a Claudia Schiffer flavoured lollypop. Yes, her head is increasingly becoming bigger and bigger in comparison to her pole-like body. Chocolate Claudia: it’s yummy and you should have some!

Rebel Wilson

More teeth!

You’ve seen the ads, I’ve seen the ads – it’s kinda hard to take Wilson seriously. Hearing her talk to the camera and trying to take in what she’s saying is rather odd. It’s equivalent to me trying to concentrate while Alcide from True Blood’s on-screen. It. Doesn’t. Happen. EVER.

Shrinking celebs, they’re a hot topic right now. Did I miss anyone you deem worthy to make the list? Did something I say hit a nerve? Well, let that nerve loose and feel free to have a go. I’m the target, hit me.

By Dan

If you’re a real man like me (the hair on my chest proves as much – sorry metro boys), you like watching action movies. The more fist fights, car chases, explosions and laughably bad dialogue, the better. And if you’ve watched more than a few action spectaculars, you’ve probably thought about who is actually the toughest action star around.

Well, I’m about to tell ya!

But firstly, before we get to the top ten of action-o-rama, let’s look at the also rans:

Those who didn’t make the cut
Jet Li – yes, he’s electrifying on the screen, but I just don’t think he’s top ten tough. Sorry Jet. (To be honest, has anyone called Jet really been that tough?)
Mr. T – oh, he can pull off wearing 5 kilos of gold chains, which is a form of toughness. But so can Joan Collins, and she ain’t that tough.
Bruce Willis – old (and he is old now) Brucey baby is way too much of an actor to make me believe that he’s really that tough. And considering he played John McClane, that makes me cry a little.
Clint Eastwood – Yeah, he’s tough (just look at his permanent pissed off expression – I assume he doesn’t smile even when giving Christmas presents to his grandkids), but at his age, one good tumble could put him out of action for months. Sorry Clint, but hip replacement surgery ain’t tough.

10: Steven Seagal

Why he’s tough: He’s been sporting the same bad haircut for 20 years, and hasn’t changed his squinty expression for about the same amount of time – that’s certainly tough, because it sure isn’t smart. Besides, he’s usually dressed in black, which is officially the toughest of colours (just Darth Vader).

9: Sylvester Stallone

Why he’s tough: Come on, he didn’t succeed in movies because of his handsome good looks or crystal clear diction, did he. You think he would have any success if he was a skinny weakling?

Why he could beat Seagal: Unlike Seagal (who seemingly hasn’t said no to a hamburger for a few years), Stallone has kept himself in shape. It might not be entirely natural methods, but who cares?

8: Chuck Norris

Why he’s tough: Haven’t you heard the five thousand odd jokes on the internet about how tough he is? Well, he’s not actually that tough, but he is still tough enough to reach #8.

Why he could beat Stallone: Ever go into a country bar, and there’s a group of guys in jeans, boots, check shirts and old hats that have been working on the farm for the past 30 years? Chuck Norris looks like one of those guys, but he also knows Karate. (Although old-fashioned farm-boy ass kickin’ is still tough in it’s own right.)

7: Jason Statham

Why he’s tough: He’s bald (which as I keep telling myself, is a sign of toughness), he’s got that rough and ready English accent, and he looks like he’s already taken a few punches. Besides, he looks like a headbutter.

Why he could beat Norris: Statham is still a (relatively) spritely 44-years-old; while Norris is comparatively ancient 71-years-old. This means that Norris’ ridiculously high pants would restrict his movement, giving Statham an easy win.

6: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Why he’s tough: Back in the ‘80s, this is what every man (secretly or otherwise) aspired to look like. You don’t win Mr. Olympia a massive seven times if you don’t look the part. And surely those muscles mean you’re pretty tough, right?

Why he could beat Statham: Yes, Statham has age on his side, but Schwarzenegger isn’t just tough, he knows politicians. A couple of phone calls, and Statham has mysteriously vanished.

5: Bruce Lee

Why he’s tough: He’s the first legitimate sportsman on the list, which makes him pretty tough to begin with. (Sorry bodybuilding fans, but anything with that much baby oil isn’t a sport, it’s a hobby. And that includes – and it pains me greatly to say this – bikini girls oil wrestling.) Oh, Lee also made the Hong Kong film industry the powerhouse it is today, largely because he was a badass.

Why he could beat Schwarzenegger: It’s the old David and Goliath story, and we all know who was left standing at the end of that little tale.

4: Jean-Claude Van Damme

Why he’s tough: You may remember him from doing the splits in all of his ‘80s films, just to show that he could do them; but if you’re a Belgian kickboxing fan from the late ‘70s, you might remember him as one of the most dominant fighters of the era. That’s got to count for something.

Why he could beat Lee: Oh yeah, Lee’s dead isn’t he? All Van Damme would need to do is go to Lee’s grave (in Seattle, fact fans), do a little jig on top of it, and he’s got this won.

3: The Rock

Why he’s tough: He’s called The Rock. You don’t get that particular nickname if you aren’t as hard as, well, a rock. But let’s not forget that he also was in pro-wrestling for a few years, and while it might not be… you know… an actual sport, you’re still jumping onto your back twenty times a night, 250 nights a year with only a pair of Speedos for protection. Hell, being in front of 20,000 fans in just your skivvies is tough in itself.

Why he could beat Van Damme: We don’t think that Van Damme really does the splits anymore, while Rocky has bulked up again to face John Cena at Wrestlemania this year. Hell, it looks like The Rock could eat Van Damme he’s so jacked up!

2: Jackie Chan

Why he’s tough: Have you ever broken a bone? It hurt didn’t it? Well, Jackie Chan has broken so many bones, it’s surprising that he doesn’t more closely resemble a jellyfish by now. Not to mention that he’s still going (even if it is a bit more slowly) at the age of 57. Considering the life he’s led, he’s rivalled for durability only by the likes of Keith Richards, Jake “The Snake” Roberts and Iggy Pop.

Why he could beat The Rock: Sure The Rock can take a decent fall in the wrestling ring, but can he deal with a fall from a five story building? (And I realise that I’ve just reduced a fight between Jackie Chan and The Rock into a falling over contest.)

1: Randy Couture

Why he’s tough: Because he’s the real deal. Sure, he’s not the most acclaimed action movie star around (in fact, Expendables aside, his movies are B-list quality), but this isn’t a test to find the best, it’s to find the toughest. And Couture’s credentials as a 5-time UFC champion (in two weight classes) prove that he’s not a man to mess with, even at the age of 48. Hell, I predict he won’t be a man to mess with at the age of 78 too.

Why he could beat Chan: Chan is tough, there’s no doubt about that. But could he survive 3 rounds in the Octagon with Couture? Hmmm, probably not. Couture – you’re the champ, and with damn good reason.

By Alex

I don’t want to get too excited about Noel Fielding’s new venture Luxury Comedy, but of the slim pickings I’ve managed to watch, I just need to say: Thank the Lord, the King has returned. You see, many fans of the psychedelic and surreal The Mighty Boosh were left in the lurch after the series kind of disappeared without much warning. But now, Noel Fielding has returned (albeit minus Julian Barratt) with his new comedy offering that can only be described as a lucid delving into the genius mind of a complete loony. And if that hasn’t got you sold, it’s soundtracked by Kasabian’s Serge Pizzorno.

Fielding plays a Bollywood Elvis version of himself that lives in the jungle with his anteater brother, an annoying hip neighbour and Andy Warhol as his cleaner. If you are not familiar with Fielding’s comedy antics, then this will sound utterly insane for you. As for the rest of you Boosh fans, you’re going to love this new series.

Here’s the lowdown on a few of the many, many characters that appear in the show.

Raymond Boombox

Raymond Boombox is your average American cop: he’s got a huge moustache, a perm and has the skin colour of a New York cab. Plus, he has a knife wound that talks. And also occasionally helps him solve crimes. Well, ok, it’s mostly the knife wound that solves the crimes.

Quote: I was a frightening mimic, an unbelievable actor like a slightly hairier Kirt Douglas without the deformed chin.

Fantasy Man

Think Don Quixote crossed with '80s cult flick Tron and you’ve got Fantasy Man. Fielding calls him Tron Quixote. This is what Fielding has to say about Fantasy Man:

Fantasy Man sets off on grand self-imposed quests in his fantasy world, yet never achieves his aim. He rides a porcelain unicorn called Arnold 5, who has an ice-cream for a horn and a voice like Barry White.

The Dondylion

David Lee Roth is King of the Lions – yes, yes he is Dondylion. A captive lion that’s quietly and quickly going insane in his tiny cage all the while John the zookeeper keeps tormenting him.

Quote: All bleak and comin’ togeva.

Higher lower, higher lower.

This is a great pointed rock to walk around.

Roy Circles

Roy Circles is a chocolate finger biscuit who is a PE teacher. He used to be in the army and suffered severe shell shock. He still drives his cheese tank (that’s a tank made out of cheese – normal cheese of course, not Swiss) and has a tendency to play tennis by himself in his dead wife’s dress reminiscing about her.

Quote: I ride the pommel horse home like every PE teacher should.

Secret Peter

Secret Peter? What is it? I’m not exactly sure but he poops out breakfast cereal after eating rainbow kebabs. Have you had enough yet?

Quote: No it’s not in the shop, it’s outside in the shop. Near the bushes.

Tony Reason

A respected music producer, Tony Reason is a manta ray who lives in an underwater studio beneath the jungle hut. Supposedly, he’s worked with everyone from the likes of Bon Jovi to Enya. He once worked with Jim Morrison who insisted everyone wear leather pants. Being a manta ray, Morrison whipped out the sewing machine and made Tony a leather pocket. Tony went on to produce the album from there.

Quote: Like a sort of Nazi kangaroo pouch.

Ghost of a Flea

Ghost of a Flea turns up at William Blake’s 100^th Birthday and they get the party started, that is, until God shows up and ruins it all. Ghost of a Flea even has a luminescent frill running down his back that lights up when plugged into a socket. They even get into a rendition of Happy Birthday that absolutely rocks.

Quote: Oh no it’s God.

Have you got some other favourite characters from either The Mighty Boosh or, if you've been lucky enough, Luxury Comedy? Or perhaps you reckon you could match the comedy stylings of Noel Fielding and come up with your own character. Drop us a line in the comments and let us know. Oh oh, I've got one: Pizza face - his face is a pizza. I suck at this. Luckily, I can just watch Luxury Comedy all day instead.

-Alex

American football is a big thing for a lot of people, mostly Americans but a lot of guys in general. For me, the Super Bowl is less about the man-action and man-crunching and more about the advertisements.

The New York Giants (is that a spoiler? Sorry) may have won the ballgame but movie stars and celebrities would kill (not quite but you get the drift) to get their head in a Super Bowl commercial. After all, the Super Bowl has the power to immortalise stars – who could forget Pierce Brosnan (as James Bond) swapping a martini for a Diet Coke?

James Bond with a martini - the way it should be

That all said, here’s what’s flowing through my mind right now (yes people, Sarah has thoughts).

Ferris Bueller’s back!

Uh oh! That's not a happy face

Despite having less hair (Matthew Broderick has this weird thing happening up top) and more meat on him (Sarah Jessica Parker should grab some for herself), Bueller’s back spruiking the Honda CR-V. Personally, I prefer Bueller’s 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California Spider.

Clint Eastwood has a nice voice

Ooo... intense look!

The world according to Clint – America is about to start its second half. Quite a moving message from a pretty inspirational man.

Audi omits a couple of pretty famous vamps from its 1 minute slot

Fang-tacular!

So, I get that Audi wants to capitalise on the vampire craze that’s taking the world by storm but where are the True Blood vamps, the Vampire Diaries blood suckers or any other famous vampire for that matter (is it too much to ask for David Boreanaz to chuck his fangs back in for the Super Bowl)?

The Soup Nazi’s back!

Soup for you!

Jerry Seinfeld (with a little help summons The Soup Nazi and dons a couple of feisty sock puppets… all in the name of advertising Acura (it’s a car – knowledge points for me). A cute alien even makes an appearance right towards the end.

Well, those were my highlights from the big game but hey, I’m sure you had your own. Fun fact: the amount of advertising money poured into this year’s commercials rose by 50 per cent. Ker-CHING!

By Dan

Over the years, Hollywood has taken much of its inspiration from the world of books. In fact, without the literary world, we wouldn’t have had film classics like The Godfather, The Shining, One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Trainspotting or Jurassic Park. Hey, it beats them rehashing TV shows from the ‘70s – Welcome Back Kotter: The Movie anyone? But there are still many written works out there yet to be tapped.

Here are the six that I think need – yes, need - to make it onto the silver screen (and you might get an idea about my book collection too).


Snow Crash

This seminal sci-fi book by Neal Stephenson might actually be my favourite book of all time – it’s a rare year that I don’t read it at least once. And while it’s a book that will make you think, it’s also incredibly cinematic – there are big action scenes (taking on an aircraft carrier with a mini-gun; glass tipped spears being thrown about; too many sword fights to count), scenes set in a 3D cyberworld, an alternate world where countries have turned into franchises, the Mafia as pizza kings, a lead character (and sword fighting badass) called Hiro Protagonist, an adversary (and all-round badass) called Raven who’s wired into a nuclear bomb. Yes, this has it all. OK, the frequent excursions into the history of ancient Sumerian language (trust me, it all makes sense) might slow the story down, but to me it’s just a bit of breathing room.


The Diamond Age

Yes, I’m an unashamed Neal Stephenson fan, and The Diamond Age is just as good as Snow Crash; in fact it explores similar yet vastly different territories. Set in the near future, the world has split into different tribes, split across racial, religious and even economic lines. The long, sprawling book focuses on a tribeless orphan girl named Nell and her illegal ownership of a new type of interactive book. Meanwhile, the developer of the book, Hackworth, has made his own illegal copy of the book for his daughter, a crime that sees him involved in a power struggle between tribes. Back in 2007 it was announced that it would be adapted into a six-hour miniseries; that has never eventuated (despite having George Clooney on the production side of things), but maybe it’s time to make it happen.

Mogworld

If you’re a hardcore gamer, you’ve no doubt heard of the webseries Zero Punctuation, in which fast-talking game critic Yahtzee Croshaw offers his (usually negative) opinion on the latest games. But, did you know that he’s also a novelist – and not a bad one either. Mogworld is set in an online fantasy world, in which Jim (a failed wizard) is wrenched from blissful death back into life by a power-mad necromancer. Once he’s back amongst the living, he reluctantly embarks on a quest to get back to his previous dead state. This is a pretty darn funny novel, which will feel comfortably familiar to any fan of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series. Yeah, it would make a rather bizarre, yet undoubtedly hilarious film.


Good Omens

Speaking of Terry Pratchett, here he teams up with Neil Gaiman (writer of American Gods and The Sandman comic book series), which is a pairing sure to make any sci-fi fan’s head explode with glee. In this we follow the angel Aziraphale and the demon Crowley – who despite being on opposite sides of the good/evil divide, have over their many years on Earth become fast friends. But when the Antichrist is born, they try to find him to prevent the war between Heaven and Hell beginning. Only problem is – the boy they think is the Antichrist, actually isn’t (there was a mix-up in the hospital). Pratchett’s work has been lavishly adapted for UK TV a number of times, while Gaiman’s Stardust and Coraline have both made it to the big screen; it’s time for this fiercely funny joint project to make the leap.


Have a Nice Day!: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks

Hey, do you like pro wrestling? Nope? Maybe Have a Nice Day will change your mind. One of the first wrestler biographies (doubly notable for a: actually being a true autobiography, and b: still being one of the best, even 13 years since its release), this follows the life of 3-time WWE champion (and surprisingly loveable dude) Mick Foley, as he moves up from his early days on the independent circuit, through to Japan, WCW, ECW and finally the WWE. For someone known for being an ultra-violent “deathmatch” pioneer, it is surprising how much he remembers, and how compelling a writer he is. Anyway, this would be perfect as an unconventional bio-pic (although I have no idea who would play him – maybe fellow hairy dude Zach Galifianakis?)

Ice Station

And finally we come to Australian author Matthew Reilly, and the first in his “Scarecrow” series, Ice Station. Now, I quite like Reilly’s books, despite them not being technically very good. If fact, all of his books read like they’re designed to become a film some time – there’s not much character development, but there is a lot of action scenes. Big action scenes – involving soldiers; double crossing soldiers; more guns than some nations’ armies; and one mega-hero character in Shane “Scarecrow” Schofield – a man seemingly more impossible to kill than Superman. Yes, this isn’t a book to stretch your brain, but put it on the big screen and you know that it’ll keep you entertained.