Login
Become a member
| My favourite alien believing celebs |
|
Have you seen the trailer for Prometheus yet? It’s directed by Ridley Scott and is being touted as a prequel to the Alien franchise taking the audience back to the beginning; when we first encounter aliens in space.
Personally I can’t wait to see this; it’s got me frothing at the mouth in anticipation. This got me thinking, there must be some celebrities out there who really, truly believe in little green men, right? Yep, of course there are, it’s Hollywood baby! Here are a few of my favourite alien believing celebs; careful, there are a few cheese balls, and some stuff I’m not even sure how it made it in. Good luck getting through this lot.
Oh man, you make it too easy Tom, just look at that face. Ahh c’mon, as if you didn’t see this coming? He’s well ranked in the (made up sci-fi) "religion" of Scientology, of course he’s going to believe in little green men and flying saucers. I’ll give you a snippet of what his so-called fellow ‘church’ members believe: Humans are immortal aliens (thetans) that are trapped on Earth in a physical body. It’s widely accepted among Scientologists that in previous lives they lived in extraterrestrial habitats. The cult, *ahem*, "religion" I mean, is based on the writings of sci-fi author L. Ron Hubbard - alarm bells anyone?? Anyway, we’ve heard stories of Cruise building a $7 million bunker for an alien attack, and he accused a journalist of being arrogant for not believing in ET. That’s all well and good – really I don’t mind any of this, but you’re in that crazy cult and you jumped on Oprah’s couch once like stale piece of fruit cake. Verdict: Whack job. Total and utter.
Robbie Williams
Former extrovert, then former recluse and currently undecided Robbie Williams claims he’s seen UFOs at least three times and is obsessed with them. Conveniently, he also says he believes in Scientology (can we see a pattern emerging already?) and thinks ghosts are beings in other worlds. Hmmm. Verdict: Vivid imagination coupled with exuberant amounts of cash and time make for easy distractions into weird interests. Definitely a ‘ball odd’ and not necessarily in that order.
This one threw me off a little. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air is a believer? He claims he saw a UFO flying about while out in his car with friends. And I hate to say it but apparently, Big Willy believes in Scientology as well – I am basing this call on a Facebook page though (it’s called: Sad That Will Smith Believes in Scientology). Verdict: I’m ok with Will Smith believing in aliens because at least then he won’t be surprised if we get invaded and then he can go all Independence Day and Men In Black on their extraterrestrial behinds.
Katie Price (a.k.a Jordan) and Peter Andre
Arrrrgh how did these vacuous flaccid beings get in here? No intelligent life form would even bother with these hollow pieces of beef jerky. Single cell amoebas are more interesting and worthy of greater attention. Ahh well, apparently Price and her ex-husband Peter Andre visited Area 51 and witnessed ‘these really weird lights’. That’s all you’ve got?? Get outta here you over tanned fish flakes. Verdict: Who cares?? These two aren’t even talented enough to be considered celebrities even on the lowest of scales. They barely register as human beings on my scale and that’s being fair. They lower the collective intelligence of the human race.
Well, we’ve practically got the upper echelon of the Scientology community here. Too bad too, because John Travolta is actually kinda ok. Sure he’s had his hiccups and bad choices – Battlefield Earth, Wild Hogs, Old Dogs, oh man the list goes on; but he’s also got some good films too – Pulp Fiction, Grease, Look Who’s Talking, Michael, Phenomenon, and many more. He’s played the law of averages with his career. Verdict: Umm…Ahhh…ok he’s obliviously got some serious decision making issues, but is he a nutter? Yes, yes he is – Scientology screwball. And that kills me because Vincent Vega is one of the greatest characters he’s ever played. Why Johnny boy, why?
And then they attached this arm to my torso and programmed me to think I was born with it… Maybe that nasal sound that emits from her face can travel through the atmosphere and into deep space, but whatever the case, The Nanny claims to have been abducted by aliens. And probed. And then microchipped. Like a stray dog. She also believes her now gay ex-husband was also kidnapped before they met and programmed to meet her because they both have the same scar on their wrists. Except her ex-husband claims she got the scar from a drill bit or a cup of hot water, a claim she says he was programmed to think. Amazing. You couldn’t come up with stuff like this. Verdict: What? You need me to answer this for you? Jeeez…
Up there. They’re listening. To me. Talk. Like this. Really. Captain Kirk is along time believer in extraterrestrial life, basing his belief in mathematics claiming that the absurd size of the universe means the probability of life is real. Fair enough, that’s pretty rational. You don’t believe in a sci-fi based religion, you haven’t been abducted, haven’t become a reclusive, obsessed nutball and haven’t seen anything odd. You’ve just had a good, hard, logical think about it. Nice one. Verdict: With the smartest man on Earth supporting Shatner’s line of logic (Stephen Hawking also believes extraterrestrial life is mathematically possible), how can you disagree with him?
Other Notable Believers
What do you reckon? Have I convinced you of intelligent life in out-of-space? Or have I just convinced you that celebs are just a black hole of intelligence sucking the collective intelligence of Earth? I thought so.
-Alex |
